apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
