oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize