i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize