There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
