it hurts more in the daytime
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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