i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
