we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All the doctor said was why
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
