I like to think it a success when the cops are called
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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