took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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