just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She bit a glass in half.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
