38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.