did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.