that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath