Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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