I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type