I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college