its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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