Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
