I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
