I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
