I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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