This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
