he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize