I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
