Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
