i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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