My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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