dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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