who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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