You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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