Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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