Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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