My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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