I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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