Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
