I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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