Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And then he peed in my hair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
