hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
