No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
