I have demons in me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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