Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
