The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
