I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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