Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
