writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
