I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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