Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
