I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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