Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
