Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
