hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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