glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
