dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
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