youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
