yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
