yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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