I want to stick my p in your. b.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
