Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
